Stories—Dave H.

Around two months ago I was praying over the state of the church in America (which I do often), I was lamenting  the fact that the Jesus portrayed by many doesn’t look anything like the Jesus of the Bible; I was asking God how on earth we got so sidetracked—so mean, and asking Him to open our eyes, open our hearts, lead us to corporate repentance, and draw us back to the simplicity of the gospel message.

As I was praying, God led me to ponder one of the verses that is often used to “lead people to the Lord”—Romans 10:9  “…If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” As I thought about that verse, it dawned on me that we typically emphasize confess with your mouth  and believe in your heart, but the heart of that verse is Jesus is LORD. I believe some of us have missed that  along the way.

The word “Lord” is Kyrios in the Greek. and according to Strong’s Concordance, Lord means: He to whom a person or thing belongs…the owner; one who has control of the person; the master. 

When we surrender our lives to the lordship of Christ—we are saying, You own me. You are my master. You get to decide what my life is going to be about. I choose to obey you. That’s a concept that sounds scary and unpleasant, and would be if another human were our Lord—but belonging to Jesus and letting him lead us is where real life is found.

So, Sunday morning in our stories series, as Dave shared his story, my mind went right to this place. Dave shared with us that he was raised in church. When he was 7 or 8 years old he decided that he probably ought to be baptized, because he knew it was the right thing to do. So he went forward, said all the right things, got baptized, and left the church that morning unchanged. In his words, he went in dry and came out wet.

I can relate to that part of Dave’s story; When I was a child, our church showed a Billy Graham film during the Sunday evening service and many of my eight year old friends and I went forward at the end of that film. It seemed like the right thing to do, and I was not going to be left out! Many of my friends went on to be baptized shortly after that, but my pastor—who just so happened to be my dad—said that he wanted me to wait. I was really frustrated with him. I thought it was unfair that my friends were being baptized, but not me. In retrospect,  I am deeply grateful for my dad’s wisdom and discernment. He knew that I hadn’t had a real encounter with Jesus—I was just doing the right thing so I could be part of the group. The following summer, the real Jesus made His presence known to me in my bedroom. Can’t explain that, but He was there. I felt His love and I knew I would never be the same. I made my decision to follow Him public in my church, and was baptized a short time later. (Interestingly, even though I had a very real encounter with Jesus, when life got hard a few years later, I chose to try to be Lord of my own life (which was disastrous), but the Holy Spirit never left me alone and even though there were very real consequences to my choices, God never left me; he wooed me constantly.)

Dave confessed that he had been a pretender for a lot of years. He went to church, he even went to Bible College, but he knew that He didn’t have a relationship with God. He also knew that God was pursuing him, but he ignored God’s pursuit, tried to push it to the back of his mind. (I love that God pursues us when we don’t know Him, and he pursues us when we’ve wandered away from Him.) In Dave’s story, it took his life falling apart, bringing him to the end of himself and his perceived self-sufficiency to finally realize that his only hope was Jesus alone. He cried out—he says he literally cried, bawled his eyes out, and cried out to God. He knew, just like I did in my bedroom, that Jesus saved him in that moment and the Holy Spirit entered his life. He immediately felt peace, joy, relief, loved—all the beautiful inexplicable things that come with surrender. His life has never been the same.

That’s what happens when we come into a real relationship with Jesus. We know that something beautiful and supernatural has taken place in our lives, and we know that we will never be the same. We want Him to be Lord, to be our Master, to take control of our lives and lead us. We want to do life His way. It’s not a burden, it’s a joy.

Dave closed first service by saying these words: Some of you may be able to relate to my story. Some of you may be pretenders, running from God. If you are in that place, I would beg and urge you to get out of that place and give your life to Jesus Christ. It matters not what anyone else thinks—the only thing that matters is your personal relationship with Christ. What matters most at the end of the day is a personal relationship with Jesus. 

Dave is no longer a pretender. He says that when God became real to him, he himself became real. Many of us, who have known Dave for the last six or so years have been honored to watch him transform from the inside out. He was gruff, argumentative, and a little scary when he first came around. Now, it’s hard to describe what a gentle man he is. Joy flows out of him. His worship is uninhibited, he is full of generosity and encouragement… I love that. Nothing is better than submitting to the only true Lord, becoming the real people we were made to be, living out the purpose for which we were created. When we live that way, the fruit of that relationship spills out and over onto those around us, and it’s that love, and the kindness of the Lord that draws people to Him.

It used to be that church was part of Dave’s life, but Christ wasn’t. That is no longer the truth in Dave’s life, and the evidence of Christ in his life is real.

Jesus tells us in Matthew 7:21 that ˆnot everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.” 

Dave admits that in the past he went through the Christian motions, he looked okay on the outside, but his life was filled with inner turmoil, until he came into a real relationship with a very real, very loving God through Jesus. Now when he calls Jesus his Lord, it’s not just a phrase, it’s his life.

What about you? Do you really know Him? Has your life been changed because of Him? Have you done more than said words with your mouth, have you surrendered your life to Him as your Lord in the truest sense of that word? I hope so. Everything in your life hinges on this one choice. He is so worth it! Nothing compares to His love.

—Luanne

Dave said he was a “pretender” most of his life. So was I. Our stories are different, but that word and its synonyms still prick my heart a little when I hear them. Maybe that’s because a little bit of the old me still fights for life deep down in my heart. Occasionally, she surfaces. And as much as I would rather hide, God is nudging me to share a little more about my own story here. The tears welling up as I write are evidence of the resistance in my heart. This is a vulnerable, tender space… But I know that to grow, we have to be willing to risk. To risk vulnerability, to risk being misunderstood-the way Dave risked this weekend.

Like Dave, I gave my life to Jesus as a young child. I was eight years old. Soon after, I was baptized. Also like Dave, I looked like a “Christian” on the outside. But this is where our stories begin to look different. I bought my own act…

Did you know that you can get so good at pretending that you eventually believe it yourself?

I didn’t know that. I didn’t know I was pretending. I didn’t know that having a relationship with Jesus actually meant freedom from pretending and permission to be real. That wasn’t my experience. As I understood it, living for Jesus-doing it “right”-took work. A lot of work. So I waded deeper and deeper into the pool of perfectionism. I was great at it. So great at it, in fact, that it would take years before I began to see it for what it was.

I will say right here that I believe my relationship with Jesus began the day my eight-year-old little girl heart chose to accept His gift of salvation. I sensed Him, and in ways I couldn’t understand, I loved Him and longed for Him. And He accepted me right where I was, with whatever faith I had then. He pursued me throughout my childhood, He pursued me through all of my pretending, and He pursues me today. I don’t believe my salvation was in question. But I had no idea what it meant to live real.

I was in elementary school the first time someone called me “fake”. My feelings were hurt for reasons I couldn’t yet articulate. But mostly, I just didn’t understand. I was a model student, teacher’s pet, obedient daughter, nice to everyone. I read my bible and I told my friends about Jesus. I was exactly who I was expected to be. If those expectations changed, so did I. I thought that’s what good girls did

That wouldn’t be the last time the word “fake” was used to describe me. It kept happening as I grew up. I still didn’t understand, and I grew more and more defensive at the accusation. It felt mean, like an attack on my very identity. It would still be years before I began to discover what my real identity is…

Fast forward to my early twenties… As an adult, married woman with children, things looked good on the outside. I had made awful decisions as a teenager, when the perfectionism couldn’t be maintained and rebellion took over. But now, I was faithful in church, serving in multiple areas, growing in my relationship with God.

And I was exhausted. So tired of the upkeep this inner perfectionist demanded. But by now, the “fake” was so much a part of me, it was the realest thing I knew. The verse “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10) became my favorite in that season of my life-I wanted that so badly. But I had no idea how to be still. There was too much to be done, too many people to perform for.

We started attending FBC in May 2010. And God, in His goodness, began to deconstruct everything I believed about Him-and about myself.

The journey has been unbelievably painful. And unexpectedly beautiful…

As I entered into life and serving at FBC, I began to hear familiar things from people who didn’t know me well. They wanted me to be real, authentic, to stop performing. And I took offense. I got defensive. The little girl who always felt like a victim was hyper-aware of how unsafe this felt. But something was different this time… These people called me out for the fraud I was-AND, they were willing to help me out of the pit. I hadn’t experienced this before. I had been accused of much in the past. I had gotten used to hearing hurtful things. But I wasn’t used to people coming alongside me in my pain and offering me the help I didn’t know I needed. The journey to becoming real-there aren’t really words to adequately capture how painful it can be. But like Dave, I found myself tired of running and desperate for Jesus. And God, in His constant, perfect pursuit of me, used people who were real to teach me what I was missing in my relationship with Him. I was never going to live into the purpose and calling He had for me until I learned who “me” really was. You know what? I found out that I actually like me. And other people do, too. God loved me at every stage of my growth, in His perfect way. But He wanted me to love me, too. To find myself within His love, as His Beloved. He knew of course, that everything flows out of the knowledge that I am fully known and fully loved by Him. And freedom would come when I was willing to be fully known and fully loved by others. And, it was only then that I was truly free to love my neighbor. All of my neighbors.

I wish I could tell you that one day I woke up and the “pretender” I’d been was completely gone, never to be seen again. But that wouldn’t be true…

I still struggle. There are times I find myself performing as I sing, rather than worshiping. Other times I gauge my gift as a writer by how many likes a blog post gets. Sometimes, I hide my hurt feelings from my friends, and ignore my own convictions in order to keep the peace. I say I’m fine when I need to reach out. I hide behind others because I’m afraid of my own calling. I don’t step out for fear that I’m still a fraud. There’s so much more to this story, so many reasons for the pretending, so many examples of how that played (and sometimes still plays) out in my life… I’ll save that for another day. For now, what’s important is what Dave said at the end of what he shared. Luanne wrote it above, and I’m writing it again because it’s just that important:

“It matters not what anybody else thinks. The only thing that matters is your personal relationship with Jesus Christ”. We can say the prayer, get dunked in the water, and still not submit our lives to the Lordship of Jesus. We can even think we’re doing it right, and so deceive ourselves. But when things get hard, when we find ourselves in pits of our own digging, that’s where the truth comes out. Is Jesus really ALL to us? Have we become who He knit us to be in our mother’s wombs before one of our days came to be? (Psalm 139:13-16) Or have we chosen a counterfeit version of His original creation? Have we become pretenders even in our pursuit of Him? I lived so much of my life as a pretender. I hated myself and other people weren’t too fond of me either… But what matters now is what mattered then-Jesus thought I was worth pursuing. He had more for me, like He had more for Dave. Like He has more for you. I never want to go backwards-and I pray that by His grace and constant pursuit of me, I won’t. Freedom, realness, knowing the real God-there’s nothing on earth that compares. Are you pretending? Will you let Him love you past all the striving and bravely lay down the masks so you can experience living real, too?

–Laura

brennan manning

Stories… “Arise, My God”

When a person survives a life-threatening situation, we tend to focus on the miracle. We rejoice and give thanks for God’s goodness. And that is good and beautiful and absolutely appropriate. But it’s only a glimpse of the story, an incomplete picture at best.

This weekend, we were blessed to hear the other side of a miraculous story. The parts that we don’t usually ask about, the pieces that–while they’re not often celebrated–may actually contain the greater miracles. Kent’s story is a powerful one. It is a story of a dire diagnosis-Acute Myeloid Leukemia-that took him immediately away from home and into the throes of chemotherapy and hospital living. He endured infections, septic shock and at least one night at death’s door. We have seen God show up and do the impossible time after time in Kent’s life since the day he was diagnosed. From the perspective of someone who battled in prayer for him, it seemed that God was so near, so close–that He never left Kent’s side.

And He didn’t.

But what we learned as Kent shared so transparently with us, is that he wasn’t so sure. And after hearing about the less than glamorous side of this walking miracle, I am convinced that the greater miracle is what God did in the dark…

Kent shared with us that in the beginning of this journey, he sensed God telling him, “I’m going to teach you something more”. He said that when he heard this, he expected God to take him to new heights. Instead He took him to new depths. In this unfamiliar place, God seemed different than He had before. Kent was unsure of who He was. It was a dark, fearful, lonely place, and God seemed to have a harshness to Him that Kent hadn’t known before. Have you ever been in a season like that? A dark night of the soul, when God seemed cold and distant and out of reach? I imagine you have. To varying degrees, we all have probably experienced what Kent expressed.

It is in these places, these seasons marked with confusion and the threat of chaos, that we have a choice to make. Do we succumb to the fear, the loneliness, the lack of understanding and sink into the shadows of despair? Or do we lean in, trusting in what we know to be true of our God-even when we can’t feel Him near? There is a word for the honest, grief-filled cries of the soul that rise from our depths when we choose to lean in. That word is lament. The Psalms are full of laments. There is a whole book in the Bible dedicated to them. Choosing to lament before our Father requires a willing vulnerability. To lament is to bring your tattered, worn, aching heart before God without holding anything back. To lament is to implore God to listen, to act on behalf of our grief. It is bringing our hardest questions and asking our Father. It is ugly crying. It often includes shouts and wailing and indecipherable groans. It can look and sound different for each one of us. But it is always brutally honest. And it happens during dark, uncertain times, when we’re not sure God’s even listening.

What we rarely see in the moment are the treasures that are found in the darkness.

Isaiah 45:3, in the Amplified Bible, says this:

And I will give you the treasures of darkness and hidden riches of secret places, that you may know that it is I, the Lord, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name.

In a book I keep coming back to, the author talks about these “treasures”. She writes, “We do not go through dark nights of the soul for nothing. We enter into these regions to find treasures that they alone hold. Jewels and precious metals are rarely found on the surface but rather are mined deep underground. Likewise, God’s treasures are unearthed when we enter, willingly or unwillingly, into dark regions and dig deep within ourselves and within the caverns of who God really is.” (This Beloved Road, Amy Layne Litzelman)

This same author writes elsewhere, “…a season of transition always stands between where we are and where He wants to take us. Something must be left behind and something gained in order to go on… We don’t understand how we can do what He has asked of us. And yet, know this: the moment we say with Jesus, “I want Your will, not mine”, mighty and glorious grace is released for the journey ahead.” 

During Kent’s dark night of the soul, he chose to lean in, to lament. He refused to let his journey be wasted, whatever the outcome. I believe the “outcome” is multi-faceted. There are pieces of his miracle left to unfold, as is true in all of our stories. But however the rest of his story unfolds, he found treasures in his darkness. As he placed his life in the hands of a God he couldn’t even feel in the moment, glorious grace was released for his journey. He saw God differently, he found unexpected beauty in unlikely places. His story speaks to the miracle of a healed body–and it testifies to an even greater miracle: A heart renewed in the truth of who his God really is. A God who never leaves us in our loneliest moments. A God who leads us into the darkness where we would never choose to go–because He wants to give us treasures that we can find no other way.

Are you living through a season where God feels far away? May Kent’s story encourage you to lean in, lament, and hold on-there are treasures to be found…

-Laura

I cried this morning while Kent spoke. I didn’t anticipate crying, but there was such beauty in the rawness of his season in the dark that it brought me to tears. He shared with us treasures, the type of treasures that Laura wrote about above, that if we are willing, they can be gems for us as well.

John asked Kent “What’s changed?”  Kent told us that upon receiving the life altering, possibly life ending diagnosis he asked himself, “What am I living for? What is truly important?” All of a sudden the treasures of this world didn’t matter anymore, and Kent had to wrestle, even in the spiritual realm with whether he wanted the things that Jesus offers—comfort, peace, presence—or if it was Jesus himself that Kent desired.  That’s a powerful question for us to wrestle with. Is Jesus alone our treasure? Kent pointed out in first service that there were only three, out of all the people who followed Jesus, only three that went to the cross. Are we willing to go the distance with him, to the hard places with him, the dangerous places with him, because he alone is who we desire? Or do we only “follow” him to get the benefits?

Kent talked about how alone he felt. For a portion of his lengthy hospital stay, after his closest call with death when he had to be intubated and coded, he couldn’t feel the presence of God, he couldnt’ feel the power or the warmth of the Holy Spirit. He wasn’t sure in that moment who God was,  the experience felt harsh, and it didn’t feel like something a loving God would do. In addition to that spiritual isolation, anyone who entered his room had to wear a mask, gloves, a gown, booties—no one could touch him. So not only was there no sense of God’s touch, there was no human touch either. There was fear, there was confusion. Isolation.

As Laura wrote above, Kent turned to lament. He reminded us that many of the Psalms are laments, that it’s okay, it’s healthy to lament; yet in the lamenting hang on to God’s truth.

And then the unanticipated beauty—Kent asked for someone to bring him his guitar. He sat in his hospital room at night and played songs of worship and sang. He did not know it at the time, but outside his door nurses would gather and listen, some patients would gather and listen. As Kent reached through the darkness for God, God was using him to minister to others in the hospital. That’s not why he did it. Kent was honestly seeking, searching, reaching, lamenting, praising, and God was using Kent’s raw honesty to reach others on that floor. Eugene Peterson once said that the people who made the greatest difference in his life were the people who weren’t trying to make a difference. Kent wasn’t trying to make a difference. He was merely being his authentic raw self—no masks, no pretense, no knowledge that God was using him—yet God was using him. What a beautiful reminder that when we walk humbly with our God, the world is impacted.

John asked Kent, “What would you say to someone who is battling today—who sees God as distant?” Kent emphatically replied that God is not distant, that He is here when we can’t feel or touch him. And then he said what may have been my favorite part of his sharing—he said that even though he couldn’t feel Jesus he got to see Jesus through the church, the body of Christ. Jesus touched Kent through our prayers, cards, text messages, visits, and Kent reminded us that this is what we are about. This is what the church is to be about. He encouraged those who may want to isolate, to stay connected because the Church truly is the hands and feet of Jesus—we are how the hurting get touched. Kent shared with us other major events from his own life, he called them “possible soul destroying” events, but his soul wasn’t destroyed because Jesus showed his love in each of those hard seasons through the body of Christ.

Then he reminded us that the church has a choice.  He said, “We can bless or we can curse and both go a long way. Be a blessing to those around you; love, pray, reach out, touch—it’s not about condemnation, it’s about calling people to a higher place…We know Jesus redeems but it’s the body that puts the touch to Jesus’ redemption…we point people to Jesus by being him.” 

I don’t know what those words do to you. I know that they fan the flame in me. My passion for Jesus’ prayer “Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven” is really this simple. Know the Jesus of the gospels well enough to be Jesus to those around you. All others.  Bless, lift up, love, touch, reach out, listen to,  pray with, pray for, don’t condemn, don’t curse…we point people to Jesus by being him.  Can you imagine if the entire capital “C” Church made this our mission? That’s what I want my life to be about. How about you?

—Luanne

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Stories

 

 

Communion: derived from com “with”, and  unus “oneness, union”

When Jesus took the bread, gave thanks, and broke it, he was making a grand statement. The word thanks in this passage (Luke 22:19)  is the Greek word eucharisteo which literally means thanks and grace. If you’ve read Ann Voskamp’s beautiful book One Thousand Gifts you know that she breaks down that word by telling us that

-the root word of eucharisteo is charis– the Greek word for grace;

-the root word of charis is chara, the Greek word for joy.

So grace, giving thanks, and joy are all tied up in this one word. Jesus gave thanks—this incredible grace recognizing, rooted in joy thanks–right before he broke the bread. Right before he said “This is my body broken for you.” less than 24 hours before he would be hanging broken on a cross offering himself for us in a very literal, grace filled way.

John shared his personal story with us, told us about the Sunday morning a little over six years ago when he had to confess his sin before the church, and the beautiful way that Jesus came to him in a vision later that day, offering John communion–the bread, the cup–and John said that Jesus was not mad at him, but offered communion with grace, with warmth, with compassion. Jesus came to John in his brokenness.

We were in a dark season, John and I. He was beginning to find freedom and healing once his sin was brought out into the light. I, on the other hand, entered the darkest season of my adult life. Twice I contemplated suicide. When I realized that I could not end my own life, I begged God to kill me. I begged Him for weeks. He said no. Then I begged Him to release me from my vows. He again said no. So I yelled at Him, then do not waste this pain!!  I did not know how I was going to make it through that season of my life. I couldn’t imagine ever experiencing joy again.  But just like Jesus met John in his brokenness, he met me too.

It was winter, the days were short. After work I would go to my room, turn off the lights, turn on the electric fireplace, lay on the floor in the dark with worship music on and cry, and pray, and listen. I can’t describe what happened, but Jesus was there. I was not alone. He ministered to me in my brokenness. He met me where I was. He didn’t condemn me for being broken, for being devastated. For about a month he just sat with me. Then, one night, the song “Dance With Me oh Lover of My Soul” came on, and just like John’s vision of Jesus offering him communion, I had a vision of Jesus with his hand stretched out to me asking me to dance. I got up off the floor and danced with Jesus. I can’t explain that, but I can tell you that it was a holy moment, and the first moment that light began to enter my darkness.

Brokenness. None of us desire it. But Jesus, in His brokenness invited us into real life. His broken body, his poured out blood are an invitation to take off our masks, enter in just as we are, accept his extended hand, see this communion for what it is–Jesus’ marriage proposal to us. And we get to respond by eating the bread and drinking the cup as a way of saying “Jesus, I accept  your life and I give you mine in return.”

His extended hand offering a broken man communion. His extended hand offering a broken woman a dance to the song of all songs. His extended hand offered to you, asking you to remove your mask, and enter into the most beautiful relationship ever. Grace. Thanksgiving. Joy. Will you accept? Will you offer yourself in return? Will you enter in?

–Luanne

In January 2012, I read Ann Voskamp’s book One Thousand Gifts, that Luanne referenced. It changed my life. For real. I had never heard the word “eucharisteo” before–now I wear a bracelet almost every day that bears the inscription. Because I don’t ever want to forget. I don’t want to forget that gratitude and grace and joy-they all come together at the Eucharist, the table of our Lord’s Supper. I don’t want to forget that gratitude precedes the miracle every. single. time. I don’t want to forget that naming everyday graces as gifts-the daily practice of thanksgiving-reorients my heart toward the Giver of everything, of every breath I take… It became part of the fabric of my heart, the rhythm of my life. And then, life got really hard. Really, really hard. As I thought through what I would write this week, I remembered a piece I wrote three years ago, called “The Dance of Grief and Gratitude”.  Interestingly, I even used the same scripture in it that John used in his sermon this week. So, I thought I would share some excerpts from that piece here-a window into my heart during a time when I was violently wrestling with brokenness and gratitude and how in the world they went together. God had asked me during that season, more than once, if I would thank Him now, when my world was broken-when I was desperately broken, too. I was vehemently opposed. This is a glimpse into my process through my dark night of the soul…

“I forgot. As time passed, I started to forget. This practice of gratitude, of counting gifts, remembering His goodness, it became a “sometimes” practice. And by the time my life began to turn a corner and loss started to come into view, my vision was cloudy and I had soul-amnesia. I didn’t hold fast to the truth of who God is and all He has done. I didn’t take hold of the truth of His goodness in everything.

So when I grieved the loss of a perceived calling, when I grieved the recurrence of a monster disease and eventually the early death of my precious mother, the last thing I wanted to do was thank this God who had allowed the pain that tore my heart and soul into a million tattered pieces…but…

True gratitude requires death. Death to myself, to my own will, to the way I would do things if it were up to me. True gratitude recognizes that each moment we are given, full of things we perceive as good or full of what we would call bad, is a gift from the hands of our Father. Not one breath is guaranteed. Every second is grace.

Every second? Did I really believe that?

As I tried to come to grips with the freshly re-surfaced question, I re-read words that I had forgotten…

‘ “On the night when he was betrayed, the Lord Jesus took some bread and gave thanks to God for it…” (1 Corinthians 11:23-24). Jesus, on the night before the driving hammer and iron piercing through ligament and sinew, receives what God offers as grace…? Oh. Facing the abandonment of God Himself, Jesus offers thanksgiving for even that which will break Him and crush Him and wound Him and yield a bounty of joy.’ (One Thousand Gifts, Ann Voskamp)

Jesus gave thanks with the cross in view. With death creeping ever closer. With the knowledge of all that he would face in a matter of hours. He opened His hands, and not only did He receive the bitter, the hard that God had given, but He did so with a heart full of thanks.

On the next page of Ann’s book, she writes, “The Eucharist invites us to give thanks for the dying. To participate in His death with our own daily dying and give thanks for it… I lay the torn bread on the tongue and I remember and press it to the roof of my mouth and the bread melts and I give thanks for the dying”.

I give thanks for the dying…

How, Lord? How do I give thanks for the dying? How do I say thank you for pain, disease and death? For facing the rest of my life without my Mom? How do I do that?

Ephesians 5:20 says ‘…always giving thanks to God the Father for all things…’. All things. Even this.

The tears fall raw and wild as I remember words I read in my Mom’s journal not long after she died. ‘Thank you, God, for the RA and the Pulmonary Fibrosis.’ I remembered her last few days with us, her understanding and acceptance of what was ahead. She said, more times than I could possibly count, ‘Glory to God for the life that I’ve lived. I choose to live for Him-whether it’s here or in Heaven’. And she meant it. She understood that we all have an expiration date, that death is guaranteed as a result of life. And she thanked God for it all. Even for the murderous disease that took her life…

To respond to every moment that flows from the hands of God with gratitude is the hardest thing of all. To see every moment as grace-every single second-is anything but easy. Because it is an opening of my hands to receive whatever God chooses to give, whether bitter or sweet to my tongue. It says, ‘You alone are God. I am not. I trust you enough to take you at your Word. That you are a good God. Purely good. And the things in life that don’t feel good now, you can make good out of those, too’. When I respond to God with gratitude, I lower myself. I remember that I don’t deserve anything. I don’t deserve another breath…but He gives it. I don’t deserve any grace… “But He gives more grace” (James 4:6a) I am reminded that I was bought with a price by a God-man who gave thanks for all things, even in death, and how could I ever be anything but grateful when I’ve been given a gift like that?”

I wish I could say that in the three years since I wrote that, I haven’t forgotten. But I have. I do. Sometimes, I forget the power of eucharisteo, forget to live grateful and aware of the gifts that God gives. Sometimes, I pick up a mask and slap it on-covering the image of Jesus that’s being forged in me as I learn to live fully alive in Him. I had to lay one down today, in fact. Before I came to the table, I came to the feet of my Jesus and confessed again my brokenness, this mask I had picked up. I laid my heart before Him and do you know what happened? He met me in that space. He was there drawing me long before I made the decision to come. It’s what He always does. He is always inviting, always beckoning us to come to the table…

When we are most broken, Jesus offers us His broken body and spilled blood to fill in and repair our most shattered places. He comes to us, the ever-faithful groom, and He lifts the veil of all of our masks, and extends the invitation again: “Will you take all that I am and let it invade and cover and complete all that you are not? Will you give me your broken, depleted, sin-stained life so that I can give you my abundant, whole, forever life? Will you embrace dying to yourself so that you can wake to your real, unmasked life in me? Will you? I choose you-in all of your brokenness-to be my beloved bride-do you take me to be your groom?”

What response can our broken, tattered hearts give but a humbled and grateful, “I do”?

–Laura

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Why Is It…?

Why is it so hard to love others?

Ron opened this week’s message with this question. Scripture is full of the Jesus’ mandate to love each other. In Mark 12:31, He tells us that after loving God, there is only one other commandment: Love your neighbor as yourself”. In John 13:34-35, He tells us, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another“. And in Matthew 5:44: “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven”. And in John 15:12, Jesus says, “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you”. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but we get the idea. Jesus was pretty clear. We are to love one another.

So, why is it so hard? Ron gave us four reasons why it is challenging to love others:

We have to become vulnerable. 

We risk being rejected

It requires removing conditional barriers.

Some have never experienced authentic love.

When we choose vulnerability, we put our well-being in someone else’s hands. Becoming vulnerable not only requires lowering our defenses–it requires us to completely lay them aside, to open ourselves up to the possibility of being wounded. One way we can be wounded in our vulnerability comes in the form of rejection. I don’t know about you, but there is little else that has wounded me as deeply as being rejected for who I am. The pain is deep, and when we’ve experienced it once, we become wary of putting ourselves in any position where it could happen again.

But this is what love requires of us…

Choosing to love the way that Jesus calls us to love requires a willing vulnerability. A vulnerability that is keenly aware of the potential for rejection–but chooses to love anyway.

What does this Jesus way look like? Ron gave us some examples. Jesus love looks like…

…reaching out to touch the leper that society-and the law-had deemed “unclean”. (Matthew 8)

…choosing mercy over judgement when the law of the land required stoning the woman caught in adultery. (John 8:2-11)

Jesus stood in the gap for these two–and so many others that we meet on the pages of Scripture. He put Himself in vulnerable positions over and over and over again to align Himself with those who were even more vulnerable in society. He willingly stepped into situations where He would find Himself accused, mocked, rejected, hated. And He tells us to love others in the very same way. He asks us to lay down our defenses and stand in the gap in the name of loving one another,  loving our neighbor. And our neighbor is everyone. Everyone that bears the image of God.

As I listened to the message, I remembered a story from scripture that we don’t talk about all that often. But it is quite possibly the key moment in our even having most of the New Testament available to us today…

Not long after Saul’s conversion on the road to Damascus (Acts 9), he tried to join the disciples in Jerusalem. Here is the account from Acts 9:26-29, out of the Message:

Back in Jerusalem he tried to join the disciples, but they were all afraid of him. They didn’t trust him one bit. Then Barnabas took him under his wing. He introduced him to the apostles and stood up for him, told them how Saul had seen and spoken to the Master on the Damascus Road and how in Damascus itself he had laid his life on the line with his bold preaching in Jesus’ name. After that he was accepted as one of them, going in and out of Jerusalem with no questions asked, uninhibited as he preached in the Master’s name.

Saul had arrested, persecuted and sanctioned the murder of countless Jesus followers. He had a past. People were afraid of him-so much so, that many were unwilling to give him a chance. This is what he faced when he came to Jerusalem. His reputation preceded him.

But someone stood in the gap… 

What would have happened if Barnabas had been unwilling to be vulnerable, unwilling to risk his own reputation to vouch for Saul? Thankfully, we’ll never know. Because after Barnabas spoke up and stood in the gap for Saul (who would become Paul), Saul was “accepted as one of them” and he went on to plant churches and preach the Kingdom of Heaven and write a massive portion of our New Testament. All because someone was willing to oppose popular opinion.

Are we willing to do the same? Are we willing to vouch for the humanity of another when it means we may be criticized, rejected, even hated? To push back against the labels society has given–the way that Jesus did over and over again? So that someone who is even more vulnerable than we are might be given a chance, a fresh start? Will we choose to love by looking beyond the dirty exterior into the Image of God that all of humanity bears–the way that God looks beyond our own dirtiness to see His own image in each of us? I hope that we can say yes. Yes, we will choose to love the way that Jesus loved us-by laying our lives down for one another. By choosing vulnerability and risking rejection because we know that God’s love is the only thing that ever changes anyone. May we be vessels that His life-changing love can flow through to change the world…

–Laura

Ron’s question–Why is it so hard to love?  My answer–Because it’s stinking hard!

Loving God’s way is impossible apart from the Spirit of God. God’s very essence is love, so in order to be able to have godly love, His essence, His character must dwell in me, and in order for His character to dwell in me, I must be filled with Him. How I would love to say that I  live this way consistently–but I can’t.

I love that Laura brought up Barnabas and his vulnerability in being obedient to God by befriending Saul of Tarsus.   Acts 4:36 tells us that his given name was Joseph, but the apostles gave him the nickname Barnabas which means ‘son of encouragement’. In Acts 11:24 we learn that Barnabas was a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and faith

I sometimes ponder, if my life was summed up in a couple of phrases–would full of the Holy Spirit be one of them?  Full of the Holy Spirit indicates full of love.

None of the verses Ron used in his sermon were unfamiliar, none of the verses Laura references above are unfamiliar, “God is love” is not unfamiliar. We know this in our heads, but living it out in our lives becomes intrinsically more difficult. When Ron talked about the way Jesus loved Judas, even knowing that Judas was going to betray him, it pierced my heart.  I pray for God’s love to reach members of ISIS, of world leaders, of human traffickers, but Jesus shared life with Judas, shared bread with Judas, didn’t talk negatively about him to the other disciples. He loved him. And I feel sure, if Judas hadn’t taken his own life, that Jesus would have gone to him after his resurrection and loved him then too–just like He did with Peter. It’s the close proximity people who challenge my loving well. If I think someone might hurt me, my self-protective barrier goes up, my wall goes up–and that’s not loving the Jesus way.

I think there’s an important nugget for us in the story of Judas.  Luke 22:3 makes it clear that “Satan entered Judas”, but what made Judas susceptible to that attack?  Was it a love of money? Was it frustration that Jesus was not setting up an earthly kingdom? Was he mad about not being part of the inner circle of Peter, James, and John? We don’t know. What we do know is that he separated himself from the rest of the disciples for a time. What were the disciples doing that day? Preparing for the Passover. What was Judas doing? Visiting with the Chief Priest and coming up with a betrayal plan, which ultimately destroyed his own life.

Here’s the nugget. We have got to guard our hearts fiercely! We have to stay connected to the body of Christ. We must be willing to ask the Holy Spirit to search us daily, and confess those areas that don’t line up with God’s desire, and we have to choose to love.  We have an enemy who is seeking people to devour (1 Peter 5:8), and the moment we let our guard down, we are susceptible to all kinds of destructive things.  Unfortunately, I know this from personal experience.

So, how do we choose love? How do we truly love God and love others–even our enemies?

I once sat across the table from a man who was going to lead a student conference for us in Brazil. While we were discussing things, he said something that I’ve never forgotten. He said that we are not capable of loving God the way God wants to be loved, so we must ask the Holy Spirit to help us love God well–to love Himself through us. Think about that for a second. Have you ever asked God to love Himself through you? I never had, but I think this man is right. God makes it clear that He loves us. Responding to that love with love is where it all begins–and it’s a Spirit thing…the fruit of the Spirit is love….(Gal 5:22) . 

So how does it happen? No doubt, there is mystery involved, but God tells us that we receive the Spirit of Christ when we receive Christ (Romans 8:9). We learn that the Spirit can be quenched (1st Th. 5;19) that He can be grieved (Eph 4:30),  that we can ask for Him (Luke 11:13), and that being filled with the Spirit (Eph 5:18) is what we are to be about.   And the evidence that we are filled goes back to Galatians 5:22–His fruit will be evident in our lives, it will be the natural outflow–and Jesus tells his followers in Luke 6:43-45 and Matthew 7:15-19 that we will be recognized as His followers, or not,  by our fruit.

Paul tells us, in the famous “love” chapter (1st Corinthians 13) that it is possible for us to do all kinds of things, like speak in tongues, prophesy, fathom mysteries and knowledge, have faith that moves mountains, give everything we have to the poor, allow ourselves to go through hardship  but if we have not love…we are nothing. 

Then Paul describes what love in action looks like–patient, kind, not envious, not boastful, not proud, not dishonoring, not self-seeking, not easily angered,  keeps no record of wrongs, doesn’t delight in evil, rejoices with truth, always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres,  – love never fails.  

Do we believe this to be true? Are we willing to step out of the self-righteous, hate spewing, grudge bearing culture that we live in–humble ourselves, choose the Jesus way, and let Him love through us, even if it costs us dearly?

Holy Spirit, we need your help! In this day of division, labels, hate, vitriolic  comments, may we, Your people, choose a different way by choosing to allow you to fill us and choosing to allow You to love others through us–all others. Your love is the only thing that will change this world. May we allow you to change us, and use us to love others well.

–Luanne

Final Greetings (Colossians 4:7-18)

Paul’s final greetings–I had no idea I would get so much out of this sermon! John highlighted different names in this passage; names that mean “one who hits the mark”, “useful”, “a great ruler”, “lovely”, “light giver”, “bridegroom”, and “one who began something powerful”.   Adjectives and phrases used to describe them include “dear brother”, “faithful minister”, “fellow servant”, “fellow prisoner”, “co-workers for the kingdom of God”, “comfort to me”, “always wrestling in prayer”, “working hard for you”…. And John reminded us to follow their lead using these phrases:

  1. Fulfill your destiny.
  2. Be useful.
  3. Lead well.
  4. Keep praying.
  5. Share the story.
  6. Be ready.
  7. Don’t give up.

Can you imagine if today’s church, and by church I mean you and me, as in each individual that makes up the church, really grasped these seven things? When I think about Jesus saying to Peter “upon this rock I will build my church, and all the powers of hell will not conquer it.” (Mt. 16:18)  I hear Him saying “there is a plan for you, Church.  You have a destiny to fulfill.  Are you willing to enter in and do this My way?” 

As Paul describes these men and women, we see how they were united in one purpose–to make Christ known. They each had a role to play, and they were doing it. As a collective whole each individual role became part of something so huge that we are still beneficiaries of their obedience today.  We can live this way too! Today’s church can still impact the world;  however, we must acknowledge that as a whole we have become sidetracked. We are married to things other than Christ. We must humble ourselves, confess our infidelity, and renew our vows to Him and Him alone.

There are three statements that I came across on Twitter last week that I have been pondering:

  1. “A 30-minute sermon won’t teach people to love neighbors. Their cable news teaches them all week to fear/hate. They’ve already been discipled.”
  2. “People may hate me because of Jesus, he told us to expect that, but if they hate Jesus because of me there’s a problem.”
  3. “Choose the third way.”

Paul and his companions chose the third way; the Jesus way, which is all about beautiful, diverse community working in unity to make Jesus known. In his “final greetings” group there are Jews and Gentiles, there is a woman, there is a run-away slave (a dear brother) returning to his master, there are those who aren’t chained in prison and those who are, and they each understand that they have purpose and that they are living for something much bigger than themselves; something colossal. They have understood the call of Jesus to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your souls and with all your mind…and love your neighbor as yourself” (Mt. 22:37;39). And to express this love by going “to make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” (Mt. 28: 18-20).  

And do you know what happens when we obey Christ (the way he asks us to), love God, love others, bring them into relationship with Christ and teach them to obey Him? The Kingdom of heaven comes on earth. It really is that simple.

Oh, Lord Jesus, take us back to the simplicity of your original call. All that the church has become that doesn’t line up with your Word–expose it for the idol that it is. Shatter the idols, the false gods, the false doctrines, the twisted scriptures, the cultural interpretations of scripture, the narrow lenses, the hate, the meanness, the judging, the racism, the pride. Refine your bride. May we be discipled by you, not our culture. Breathe new life into us as we pursue the third way; your way. May we be about love, peace and reconciliation, the way you’ve asked us to. May we heed the words that Paul spoke to Archippus when he wrote: “See to it that you complete the ministry you have received in the Lord” (v18), and may we chain ourselves to you, the real you, forever.

–Luanne

Luanne wrote:

“And do you know what happens when we obey Christ (the way he asks us to), love God, love others, bring them into relationship with Christ and teach them to obey Him? The Kingdom of heaven comes on earth. It really is that simple.”

I think she beautifully summed up what we’ve learned through our study of Colossians. It has been a call to acknowledge Jesus as Lord, to align our lives with His, to love Him and others God’s way and to usher in the Kingdom-on earth as it is in heaven.

On the last day of our 21 Days of Prayer, some of our children led our corporate prayer time by opening with the Lord’s prayer:

Our Father in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name.
 Your kingdom come.
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
As we forgive our debtors.
And do not lead us into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. (Matthew 6:9-13)

It brought tears to my eyes to see the next generation leading us–and it was evidence of the Kingdom advancing as their young hearts learned to connect with God’s in prayer.

I looked back through every blog we’ve written during this series and in 12 of the 13, one or both of us wrote at least a little bit about the Kingdom. And in the one that didn’t include the word “kingdom”, the concept was still there. I don’t think that’s an accident at all. I believe that Jesus desires his bride, the Church, to really get this, to grab hold of the idea that the Kingdom really can come on earth as it is in heaven. Jesus talked about it all the time during His ministry. And Paul, in his letters-especially in Colossians, tells us how.

John mentioned the Kingdom in this week’s sermon. He said this:

“Don’t sit back and watch the Kingdom of God expand without you being on the front line.” 

And that is the challenge. This week’s sermon hit me hard. Like Luanne, I didn’t expect to get so much out of Paul’s final greetings. I didn’t expect to be moved to tears more than once. I didn’t expect to feel the fire of the Holy Spirit engulfing my heart as I listened. But that’s what happened to me. I’m still processing all that God spoke and is speaking to me. But here’s what I know–

I don’t want to sit back and watch the Kingdom of God expand with me sitting on the sidelines.

Except when I do.

I think we all long to be a part of ushering in the Kingdom-to play our parts in the great symphony that is the Church. We were born with a God-given desire to realize our purpose and live our lives for something, Someone, bigger than ourselves. John laid out in his sermon seven ways we can follow the early church’s lead in bringing the Kingdom of heaven to earth. Luanne listed them above and I’m going to repeat them here:

  • Fulfill your destiny.
  • Be useful.
  • Lead well.
  • Keep praying.
  • Share the story.
  • Be ready.
  • Don’t give up.

This is where the rubber meets the road. Where our expressed desire to make a difference translates into leveraging our lives-all that we have and all that we are-to make that difference. The one that we were each uniquely created to make.

Which one of the seven holds you back? Keeps you from assuming your position on the front line? Is there more than one? For me, there are two. Lead well & Don’t give up. I’ve never seen myself as a leader, yet God has appointed me to lead in several different areas. I didn’t even realize it until today–I still haven’t fully embraced it. But I know that if I don’t embrace God’s call to lead in the areas He’s asked me to, I will be choosing the sideline rather than the front line. And, friends, the sideline is easier. But it doesn’t usher in the Kingdom. 

There are other things I know God has called me to do, but I’ve gotten scared… I’ve gotten lost in the how and the when and even the why at times–so I’ve given up rather than pressing in and pressing on.

In Colossians 4:17, Paul instructs Archippus:

“See to it that you complete the ministry you have received in the Lord”.

I’m not fully aware of the extent of the “ministry” I have received in the Lord. But I know that those words pierced my heart as John read them, and God spoke them directly to me in that moment.

So I will take what I have learned, what I’m still learning, from this beautiful book of Colossians, and I will use the tools I’ve been given to step into my position on the front line. Because Jesus is Lord of my life and my desire truly is to see His Kingdom come on earth. It takes all of us doing our part. We can do it, church. We can do it together. Will you join us on the front line?

–Laura

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A New Foundation (Colossians 3:17-23)

There are times in my life when I know that God is doing a huge thing. I am in one of those seasons, and it is beautiful and challenging at the same time. I have done more “on my face” repenting of things in the last few months than I have maybe in the last 5-10 years.  And God has been rocking my world with new insights in scripture that have sometimes left me trembling.

John’s sermon this morning took us through Colossians 3:17-23. Verse 17 says “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the LORD Jesus…”. And verse 23 begins,Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the LORD…”  

In between those two verses Paul mentions people who had previously been invisible…wives, children, slaves…and gives husbands/fathers a new directive.  The fact that these people groups are mentioned is evidence that something new is going on, which goes back to “there is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Gal. 3:27-28)

Earlier last week, when I was getting prepared for a devotion, the Lord took me to Genesis 1:26-27 which is a very familiar passage. It says, “Then God said, ‘Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they (the human race) may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.’ So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”  

I’ve known these verses a long, long time, but this time God showed me something new, something huge. God tells the human race what portion of His created world that He has given us to rule over–and it doesn’t include other humans. Not men ruling over women, not whites ruling over non-whites, not rich ruling over poor, no one ruling over no one. In God’s perfect design He rules us, we rule together over the rest.

John reiterated this in his sermon when he said in Christ all of life has a new center of reference, a new Lord, and a new understanding of reality.

A new Lord. Look back at verses 17 and 23 of Colossians 3. Both imply living a new way that affects all of our actions, all of our words, all of our effort because Jesus is our Lord. So what does Jesus being Lord really mean?

I read a book recently called “The Myth of Equality” by Ken Wytsma, and in the book he points out that the “sinner”s prayer” is not actually in the Bible and he says, “I know from experience that we can have a personal relationship with Christ. The danger, however, comes when asking Jesus “into your heart” is reduced to merely a transaction of spiritual goods and rights. This is especially dangerous in a consumeristic society that places more emphasis on individual rights than on responsibilities.” Wytsma also says, “As often as we hear about accepting Jesus into our heart, this is not the usual salvation language found in the Bible. Scripture most often uses the image of our being found in Christ.”

When I read that I had to sit back and ponder it for a moment. I went to a verse that is often used to bring people into relationship with Christ, Romans 10:9 “If you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”  I stared at it asking God what He wanted me to see, and this is what He revealed. The focus of this verse is the Lordship of Jesus. I’ve heard the verse presented many times with the focus on the mouth and the heart, but what brings us into relationship with Christ is submitting to His Lordship. And do you know what is written three verses down? Romans 10:12 which says, “For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile–the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him…”  Truly, each of us submitting to the Lordship of Christ is the only way true Christianity can work.

So the question for us is who is Lord? Jesus or self?  Do we put ourselves in a position of superiority over others based on skin color, financial position, job status, what neighborhood we live in, what country we’re from, who we voted for, which channel we get our news from, what school we go to, or any other thing?  John pointed out that a great test of this is paying attention to how we compare ourselves to others. Comparison is a great indicator that there may be some “lording it over others” going on.

This weekend ugly “superiority” violence spilled over on the streets of Charlottesville, Virginia. Blood was spilled, life was lost, and terror gripped many. Man’s way leads to destruction. Ruling over one another leads to destruction. Submitting to the authority and Lordship of Jesus leads to the beauty of diverse community, of a united body where each member is seen, loved, heard, and valued–where everyone’s gifts are able to flourish, and where the Kingdom of Heaven becomes evident and advances on planet earth.

So Paul’s wording in both Colossians 3:17 and 23 needs to be embedded deeply in our hearts—WHATEVER we do in word or in deed, do it ALL in the name of, and as if we are working for the LORD Jesus…

–Luanne

It is impossible to see the humanity in every “other”, to place equal value on all lives, to truly comprehend the need for equity and equality if Jesus is not the Lord of our lives. Paul got this. I mean, he really got this. I’ll dig into that piece in a minute…

I love that Luanne wrote about the Lordship of Jesus. In fact, what she wrote about completely redirected the focus of my thoughts and writing today.

I looked up the word “Lord” from the verse Luanne referenced, Romans 10:9. I looked it up because I wanted to know how the original word was defined in Scripture. I didn’t plan on sharing it with you, but it was so thought-provoking that I can’t not include it. (My apologies to readers who are not fellow word nerds…thank you for your patience!!)

“Lord” is translated from “kyrios”, a Greek word that means:

“the one to whom a person belongs and about whom he (the Lord) has power of deciding; Master, possessor, owner, one who has control”

The root word behind this word is “kyros”, which is simply translated “supremacy”. In light of the weekend’s horrific events, I hesitated to even include this word in reference to Jesus. But I think that it is important to our discussion to know that this word, “kyros” is only found one time in Scripture. That one time? It was used by none other than our Colossians author, Paul, in the first chapter of the book we are studying. Paul uses the word in Colossians 1:18 to establish the absolute authority, preeminence, “firstness” of Jesus. And it is from this word that we get our word “Lord”. Let’s look at that definition one more time:

“the one to whom a person belongs and about whom he (the Lord) has power of deciding; Master, possessor, owner, one who has control”

A few things come to mind as I ponder this definition… First, whether we acknowledge Jesus as Lord or not doesn’t change the fact that He. Is. Lord. Philippians 2:10-11 tells us that, “…at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord…” He is. And one day, ALL will acknowledge His Lordship. But, for now… we get to choose whether or not to acknowledge Him. Which is pretty mind-blowing. He has the power and the right as the firstborn of all creation, as the risen Savior, as the spotless Lamb and as God Himself to “Lord” over us. He doesn’t… yet. Unless we submit to His Lordship. Once we declare Jesus as Lord of our lives, we willingly assume the role of a servant in His Kingdom. We belong to Him, He owns us, and He has the power to make a decision about us. Here’s the beautiful thing about that…

He made His decision about us at the cross. 

When He chose to die for all-not just for some-He made His decision. As Lord of all, He decided that all of humanity was worthy of the chance to be reconciled to our Father in Heaven. He didn’t make allowance for one nation, one tribe, one ethnicity, one gender, one age group, one socioeconomic status. He showed no favoritism and no partiality. He bled for all. And He rose as the victorious King who made a way for all to enter in to the Kingdom He passionately ushered in.

He could demand our submission. He doesn’t.

Paul understood the power of Jesus-maybe more than anyone. He knew firsthand that there is only one way to be changed–by submitting to Jesus’s Lordship. Paul wanted us-all of humanity-to understand, to accept, to embrace the only power strong enough to not only save a soul, but change a heart, change a life.

Paul used to be Saul. Saul was righteous. A case could be made that he was the most righteous in his day. But Paul… Paul’s ministry wasn’t built on his own righteousness. His ministry was built on justice, on the upside-down Kingdom that Jesus modeled and ushered in.

Saul murdered and persecuted followers of Jesus. Lucky for him, the Lord Jesus had already made a decision about Saul when He spilled His blood for him and the rest of humanity.

Paul understood that declaring Jesus as Lord was an acknowledgement of the equality of all people.

Declaring Jesus as Lord, submitting to our roles as grateful servants on equal ground at His feet, is the beginning of heart change. Because when we declare Jesus as Lord, whatever or whoever we had given that title to previously has to go.  Matthew 6:24 makes it clear: “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other.” There can only be one true Lord of our lives. And it’s not about what we say with our mouths-we can say that Jesus is our Lord. But if we are living lives marked by entitlement, superiority, judgment, comparison, division… we may need to take a closer look at who is sitting on the throne of our hearts.

If Jesus is truly our Lord, we will be changed, as Saul was. Once that switch happened-when Saul “asked for, prayed for” became Paul “humble or small one“, it was so much more than a name change. He saw himself differently. He saw people differently. He didn’t lord his credentials, his knowledge of the Scriptures, his genealogy. He understood that the blood of Jesus was spilled for him and for all of humanity as a means to reconcile all of us to God. He recognized, with overflowing gratitude, that there are only two levels within the Kingdom– The Father, Son and Holy Spirit occupy the top level, unified, as One. Below them? Everyone else. This concept is so important to Paul that I have yet to find a letter he penned that doesn’t exhort us to see and acknowledge the humanity, equality and interconnectedness of all people. It was that important to him, that vital to the furtherance of the Gospel of the Kingdom.

So I ask all of us–is it important to us?  Do we understand that there are no levels within the Kingdom, no jockeying for position, no superiority? Are we willing to not only alter our behavior but invite the Holy Spirit in to radically rewire our faulty belief systems? Is Jesus truly our Lord? Really, this is the only question that matters–everything else hinges on our answer. If He hasn’t been Lord of our lives, I pray that today will be the day we submit to His Lordship and allow Him to begin the transformation process within us.

–Laura

diversity

 

 

 

God’s Answer to Our Deepest Needs (Colossians 2:10-19)

Beau articulated this weekend that we all share four core needs that are met in the cross of Christ. Those needs are: love, forgiveness, community, and a cause worth living and dying for.

In this passage of Colossians, Paul deconstructs the tradition of circumcision as the people to whom he was writing understood it, and replaced it with a fresh view on the subject–that the new circumcision was of a spiritual nature. It was a cutting away of the old sinful nature in order that we might be raised to new life in Christ.

Circumcision under the law proved that they belonged in their community. But this new circumcision, the circumcision of Christ, did away with the separation-inducing effect of its predecessor. This new way extended an invitation, one we can both respond to and extend today–the invitation into Christ’s community, the community of Heaven. This invitation is for everyone. The ground at the foot of the cross is level. The invitation is for each and every person of every tribe and tongue. There are no lines of division at the foot of the cross-only unity under the Head, which is Christ Himself.

When we understand the gift of community that this new circumcision provides–community Jesus’s way, community that places each of us on equal ground where we believe in the chosen-ness of every single human being–when this clicks in our hearts, we find a cause worth living and dying for. And we become willing to embrace it.

Seeing all of humanity as chosen by Christ seems simple enough in concept… but in reality, we all have inherited some beliefs and narratives that can make this difficult to put into practice. I could list many examples, but there is one that is especially striking this weekend. We, as Americans, are about to celebrate the 4th of July, our nation’s Independence Day. Like me, you have probably seen displays of American pride on social media, billboards, television, etc… I don’t believe there is anything wrong with celebrating the freedoms that are ours because of where we happened to be born, or being grateful for the blessings that are ours. I do think, however, that this particular holiday can reveal heart attitudes that, knowingly or not, equate nationalism with Christianity. The danger of this, outside of the propensity for idol worship, is that a narrative can form in our minds. One that says that we, as American Christians, have it right. That our way is the best way. That we have the answers. This kind of heart attitude separates us from other believers–and from Christ Himself.

Remember, the ground at the foot of the cross is level. There is no elevating of self in this place. No way to earn the chosenness that Christ extends to all people. Any sense of elevation or separation is not Jesus’s way. Colossians 2:16-19 makes this clear:

So don’t let anyone condemn you for what you eat or drink, or for not celebrating certain holy days or new moon ceremonies or Sabbaths. For these rules are only shadows of the reality yet to come. And Christ himself is that reality. Don’t let anyone condemn you by insisting on pious self-denial or the worship of angels, saying they have had visions about these things. Their sinful minds have made them proud, and they are not connected to Christ, the head of the body. For he holds the whole body together with its joints and ligaments, and it grows as God nourishes it.

Regardless of what it is–be it false humility, pride, legalism, nationalism–anything that seeks to separate and divide rather that connect and unify is something that is not connected to Christ.

Jesus saw all of humanity-each and every one of us-as a cause worth living and dying for. And when we truly grasp the community that is offered at the foot of the cross, we will want to carry the open invitation to absolutely everyone. It will become a cause we are willing to live and die for as well, because the cause is not an “it”. It’s a “who”. And that “who” is everyone. When we grasp the love, forgiveness and community we receive at the cross, we become willing to imitate the love that we could never duplicate–a love that chose death so that we could have life. I want to carry that invitation to the ends of the earth until the day that we see …a vast crowd, too great to count, from every nation and tribe and people and language, standing in front of the throne and before the Lamb. (Revelation 7:9a)

Have you found your deepest needs met at the foot of the cross of Jesus? Does your heart desire to grab onto a cause worth living and dying for? What stands in the way of living out community Jesus’s way? I would love to hear your thoughts…

–Laura

(Luanne will be back and contributing in a couple of weeks!)

foot of the cross

Colossians 2:1-9

Beau began this week’s sermon by highlighting the reasons behind this part of Paul’s letter to the Colossians. In verse 2, Paul writes, “My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love…” The believers at Colosse were struggling with discouragement and disunity. Beau told us that discouragement happens when a heart is hurting. Disunity occurs when that hurt is left to fester.

Discouragement and disunity can leave us feeling like we’re in the dark. When we find ourselves in the dark, we will move toward any light we can see. Even if that light is less than sufficient. Even if it is artificial. Paul was warning the Colossians about some of the forms this deceptive light can take–things like believing false theology by way of rational thought or self-centered perspectives. We need to heed the same warning…

We can find ourselves believing that whatever “light” we have seen is the only true light because it has become so real to us. When we are in a well-lit room, we typically don’t go looking for another light switch-even if there is a possibility that there is brighter light to be found.

Beau read John 5:39-40 from two different translations. These verses articulate this concept of accepting a lesser light beautifully…

“You study the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life.” (NIV)

 “You have your heads in your Bibles constantly because you think you’ll find eternal life there. But you miss the forest for the trees. These Scriptures are all about me! And here I am, standing right before you, and you aren’t willing to receive from me the life you say you want.” (MSG)

The people that Jesus was speaking to were diligent students of Scripture-a good thing. But they missed seeing that the life they were desperate for was standing in front of them in the person of Jesus. They had been blinded by a lesser light. And they couldn’t see the need for the true Light through their well-lit theology. The Colossians were in danger of missing Jesus in their midst, too.

And so are we.

Jesus’s words in the passage above hit me in a deep place…

“…here I am, standing right before you, and you aren’t willing to receive from me the life you say you want.”

He is still standing right before us, always. It’s not a question of whether or not we miss Him standing there. We do. Often. The question is, How do we miss Him?

I think that sometimes, when we’ve stared at artificial light for too long, we actually can be blinded by it. Especially if that light takes the form of some kind of spotlight… a spotlight that shines on us and makes us feel like we’re doing something right…

In Matthew 6:23, Jesus warns, “But when your eye is unhealthy, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is!” When what we perceive, what we see as light, is not actually The Light, the light we have is actually darkness within us.

The people Jesus was addressing in John 5 and the people of Colosse that Paul was addressing in this letter, they didn’t know that they were being deceived by a lesser light. It had to be called out. A prophetic voice had to be willing to speak up and call it out, lest their rational thought, self-centered perspectives and diligent study of Scripture keep them from ever knowing the only true Light. “Prophetic voices”, Ken Wytsma writes in a phenomenal book called The Myth of Equality, “explode things… [They are] subversive. Radical. Disruptive.” Paul was willing to be that voice for the Colossians. But not as a critical, condemning, condescending and detached onlooker. As a brother and teacher who was agonizing over them in his prayers. He was fully engaging in intercession, for people he hadn’t personally met, with fervor and empathy. He loved them and was present with them through his prayers. And so his prophetic voice was heard by them.

How do we respond to prophetic voices in our lives? Do we listen? Or are we so blinded by the artificial light that we have accepted as reality that we can’t even see a glimpse of the real Light? If the light we live in is artificial , then we must acknowledge the possibility that maybe we aren’t following the real Jesus.

So how do we know if we have been deceived? If we’re living life in a lesser light? The evidence lies in what is manifested through us. If we haven’t experienced the light of Jesus, but rather an insufficient, lesser light, then what we manifest is artificial light. This dim light can lead to division, further disunity, hypocritical & defensive attitudes when our “light” is called into question, “us” & “them” mentalities, a core desire for our own comfort above all else… the list could go on.

If, however, we have seen the real Jesus standing before us–if we have experienced the Light that dispels the inherent darkness of all other lights, then we manifest the Kingdom of God. We will willingly respond to the call of the Gospel to, as Beau put it, “leverage our lives and what we have for the benefit of the Kingdom and offer our whole lives to move the Kingdom forward”. Beau identified that choosing to lay our own kingdoms down in exchange for God’s Kingdom is hard. But He also reminded us that, “We don’t know how much better [God’s] Kingdom is until we’re living in it”. When the brightness of Christ cuts through the lesser lights we have surrounded ourselves with, it changes us. This Light exposes all things. We can’t ever un-see a light this bright-unless we choose to close our eyes

May we be people who live with eyes wide open to the Jesus standing before us. May we be willing to listen to the prophetic voices that call us out of our dimly-lit mindsets and misconceptions. And may we willingly lay our kingdoms down for the advancement and fulfillment of The Kingdom of God…

–Laura

Laura makes some excellent points. Oh…”may we willingly lay our kingdoms down for the advancement and fulfillment of The Kingdom of God…”

Here is what I think is true. None of us wants to be deceived. I believe that we all want godly wisdom and knowledge. I believe that we all want to be living in the true light, the Jesus, Light of the World light–and I believe that we all need to be reminded from time to time that Satan poses as an angel of light (2 Cor. 11:14). Even Jesus reminds us in Matthew 24:4 “Watch out that no one deceives you!” So, how do we safeguard ourselves from deception?

Laura talked about it above–the key is being absolutely grounded in Christ. All the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are in Christ. (Col. 2:3).

For those of us who grew up in church, or have been in church for a while, this may be trickier than we think. Colossians 2:8 gives a clue as to why this can be tricky. It reads “See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world, rather than on Christ.

I grew up in a wonderful faith tradition, met Jesus there, grew in Jesus there, but have discovered that not everything we did as a church lined up with scripture. I imagine that’s true for many of us. It is imperative that we let the Christian life be defined by Jesus and not by our traditions. And if we are letting Jesus define our Christian experience, I think it will look a whole lot different than it does.

Jesus had a close one on one relationship with the Father. Jesus was led by the Holy Spirit. (Mt. 4:1). Jesus was not impressed with the religious elite, but went after the teachable, the common, the invisible and the marginalized. Jesus treated foreigners well, he treated women well, he treated children well, he treated the sick well, he treated the demon possessed well, and, because he loved them too, he warned the religious elite, who thought they had the true light, that they were misguided. He never left anyone the way he found them. His primary focus was the kingdom of heaven coming on earth, the kingdom of heaven that looks like each of us laying our lives down for one another, modeling to the world who He is by the way we love one another (John 13:35), bringing people into relationship with the Father through Jesus, and giving us–the church–the charge to take this kingdom to everyone everywhere. His kingdom is totally contrary to the kingdoms of this world, including our own personal kingdoms, which is why we must surrender our kingdoms to His and live His way. He tells us to seek His kingdom first, and He will take care of the rest. (Mt. 6:33)

Is this the way we live? Spend some time reflecting on how your life lines up with the life of Jesus. Is the Kingdom of heaven coming on earth your priority? Does what you think about the role of the church line up with what the Bible says about the role of the church? Are you seeing all people and loving them well? Does the fruit of the Spirit flow out of your life? Are people coming into the kingdom as a result of knowing you?  Are you contending, wrestling, striving, agonizing over others in prayer, even people whom you’ve never met? I am asking myself all of these questions…

Psalm 139:23-24 says “Search me, oh God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” 

Asking God to shine His light in us, show us where we have not hidden ourselves in Christ, and then making the adjustments to align ourselves with His way of doing things is where we will find all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge, and we will experience true life. It’s only found in Christ. He will not shame us on this journey. He Will gently and lovingly lead us into becoming more and more like Himself, if we will let Him.

Are you in?

–Luanne

light tree

 

Colossians 1:24-29

I attended a conference last weekend that changed my life and gave me a new lens through which to see the world. As John was sharing the message that God gave to him based on Colossians 1:24-29, some of the things I learned last week were brought to the forefront of my mind.

John reminded us that we each have a role to play in sharing the message of the revealed mystery of God, which is that the living Christ lives in us, which means the hope of God’s glory lives in us (v. 27) or as The Message translation puts it: “Christ is in you, so therefore you can look forward to sharing in God’s glory.”

John reminded us of Colossians 1:19 which tells us that “God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him (Jesus).”, and then the bombshell from Ephesians 3:17-19 …”And I pray that you being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge–that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

That you and I may be filled with the fullness of God…just like Jesus, and out of that fullness we have also received the commission from God to present the word of God in its fullness (v 25) to those who don’t yet know the mystery.

I think any Christian who has been in church for a while knows that we are not here for ourselves. We’ve all heard that the greatest commandment is to  “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind, and all your strength…and the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mt 22: 37;39). And we know that the great commission, which is our call, our commission–all of us-– is to “Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you…” (Mt 28: 19-20), but for some reason, many of us never bridge the gap from talking about it to actually doing it.

I learned the phrase “virtue signaling” at the conference last week. According to the Cambridge Dictionary virtue signaling means “an attempt to show other people that you are a good person by expressing opinions that will be acceptable to them, especially on social media.” The Urban Dictionary takes the definition one step further and says “Saying you love or hate something to show off what a virtuous person you are, instead of actually trying to fix the problem.” I’m afraid that many of us who follow Christ are virtue signalers. We love Jesus, we hate that there are lost people in the world, injustice bothers us, we talk about it amongst ourselves, we post about it, but very few of us step into engaging the commission of God in a real way. Why?

I believe it goes to another thing that I learned at the conference. Many cultures in the world live with an emphasis on the community rather than the individual. I experienced the beauty of that kind of life when I lived in Brazil. However, in our majority culture in the United States, we live very individualistically, so the body of Christ becomes a group of collective “I’s” rather than a “we”. And our majority culture has a strong tendency to stay silent about many things. This leads us to hoping that someone else will do the scary stuff, the hard stuff, the stuff that might cost something. I think we know this, I even think it causes us to squirm a little with some guilt, yet we don’t move. So what’s the answer?

It is recognizing that Kingdom of God culture must trump our own culture, and acknowledging that God has given us everything we need to do everything that He has called us to. We have the living Christ living in us, we have the fullness of God living in us, and we have the Holy Spirit living in us (John 14:17 “the Spirit of truth…lives with you and will be IN you), and God himself has said “By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence.” (2 Peter 1:3 NLT). And even in the Old Testament God tells us through the prophet Zechariah that it’s “Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord Almighty.” (Zech. 4:6)

So, like Paul, it’s pushing through the scary, through the desire to stay silent, through the desire to self-protect, through the false narrative that maybe it’s not part of my kingdom role, and moving into “proclaiming Him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ…with all HIS energy which so powerfully works in (us).” (Col 1: 28:29) And all that you have to know in order to do this, is your own story with Jesus. If you know Him, you are equipped and ready.

So take heart–we can join in purposefully pushing back the darkness to bring in the Kingdom of Light because the fullness of the Trinity live in us. The Spirit of God has power, and that power allows normal, everyday people to operate with the supernatural power of Jesus. The Kingdom of God advances on the walk and talk of those who know Christ, one person at a time. Are we willing to take what we’ve received from God, crucify ourselves in order that the Spirit may truly come alive in us, and actively participate in the work of His kingdom wherever He has placed us in life?

–Luanne

“I think any Christian who has been in church for a while knows that we are not here for ourselves. We’ve all heard that the greatest commandment is to  “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind, and all your strength…and the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mt 22:37,39)…but for some reason, many of us never bridge the gap from talking about it to actually doing it.”

Luanne’s words resonated in my soul… She highlighted what it means to be a “virtue signaler” and also explained the way our individualistic mindset can hinder our response to the calling we have been entrusted with. She expressed that,

“This leads us to hoping that someone else will do the scary stuff, the hard stuff, the stuff that might cost something. I think we know this, I even think it causes us to squirm a little with some guilt, yet we don’t move…”

As we read Paul’s accounts through Colossians, however, we see a man who not only moves, but does so with abandon, with wholehearted devotion-and in the face of extreme persecution most of us will never come close to comprehending.

What did Paul know that we struggle to understand? I think maybe it’s less about what he knew, and more about Who he knew. He knew the Jesus of the Bible.

We do, too… right?

We do… to a point. We do to the extent that we can understand. John spoke about the ways we see Scripture through the lens of our traditions and experiences rather than seeing our experiences through the lens of Scripture. He reminded us that it must be the the living Word, the power of the Holy Spirit within us that shapes our understanding. It is only through the power of the Trinity residing within us that we are moved, shaped, changed and sent out.

Paul knew the real Jesus. Not the Jesus many of us have been presented with in our various backgrounds and traditions. He knew the Jesus that “…did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:28). He knew the suffering Savior. Paul understood that his role was to be a servant to the Churchnot a savior of the church. The church already had a Savior–the same Savior that rewrote the story of a man named Saul. The same Savior that changed his name from Saul, which means “asked for, prayed for”, to Paul: “humble or small one”. This was so much more than a change of name for him. He went from being important, from lording his identity as a prominent, privileged Pharisee to seeing himself in light of his new name-small and humble under the lordship of Jesus, for whom he was willing to give his whole life.  He had met the suffering Savior and he got it. He understood what he had been entrusted with. He knew the power of being raised to new life in Jesus. And he knew he had been called to make known to everyone-Jew & Gentile, rich & poor, slave & free-the truth of the Gospel that he had-prior to encountering the Jesus who saved him-refuted and persecuted with murderous passion!

Paul suffered from no illusions that serving Jesus wouldn’t cost him. And more than that, he rejoiced in his sufferings–for the sake of the church! For the sake of people who needed to know this Jesus who had come to redeem humanity unto Himself.

Colossians 1:24b-25a from The Message paraphrase says this:

“…There’s a lot of suffering to be entered into in this world-the kind of suffering Christ takes on. I welcome the chance to take my share in the church’s part of that suffering…” 

John said, “We suffer as an extension of what Christ did”. We must choose our response to our suffering Savior. Do we choose to enter into the world’s suffering-knowing it will cost us-as an extension of what Jesus suffered for us? Or do we talk the talk without following through? If we see Jesus only through the lens of tradition, only through the lens of a privileged existence that longs for safety, security, prosperity and pleasure–we cannot enter into the world’s suffering with authenticity. But if we look to Scripture and let the Holy Spirit reveal to our hearts the truth about the Jesus we serve, He will show us who we are in light of all that He is. He will lead us into our true identities. For so long, we (the western Church) have pushed back against the idea of suffering. We have created prosperity teachings that are contrary to the teachings of Jesus. And we have lived lives marked by fear of suffering. But when we remove our filters and look at the life of Jesus and His first followers, we see that the Gospel is truly about the first becoming last, for the sake of the lasts having the chance to be first. It’s an upside-down Kingdom.

Paul knew this. He encountered Jesus and he was changed. His story was rewritten and he was given a new life and a fresh start. The weight of what he had been entrusted with propelled him into a life of willing servitude on behalf of the world. He led with his story of what Jesus had done for him. And he understood that it wasn’t in his own strength that he carried this weight. It was the very power of God working within him.

John said, “Paul got the suffering, but he also got the strengthening”. Paul was willing to move into the suffering life his Savior had modeled. And so, he got the strengthening that enabled him to walk the walk unto completion. Sometimes we ask for the strengthening without being willing to enter into the suffering. But we don’t get to move into the strengthening without first embracing the suffering. We don’t need to be strengthened to keep up the status quo. To keep talking the talk without walking the walk. We need the strengthening to endure the suffering. To keep showing up. To keep entering into the pain of the world, as Paul’s life so beautifully modeled.

How do we do it? How do we enter into the suffering? We do exactly what John charged us to do this weekend:

“Speak to the one God has placed in front of you. We are the communicators. Hard is part of it. Move to it. Move through it. We can’t. He can. Let Him do it through you. All things are possible in Him.”

And what do we speak? Luanne stated it in beautiful simplicity:

“…all that you have to know in order to do this, is your own story with Jesus. If you know Him, you are equipped and ready”.

Do you know Him? This suffering Savior who came to give his life as a servant? If you don’t, I pray that He will reveal Himself to your heart so that you, like Paul, can have a new story, a fresh start. If you do, are you willing to embrace the role of servant and enter into the suffering of the world as an extension of what Jesus did for you? I pray that we can all give a resounding “yes” to that question and move out into a world that is desperately waiting for our talk to materialize into a walk that will walk with them. 

We would love to hear your thoughts-please share with us any questions and comments you have.

–Laura

suffering savior

Can I Have the Best of Both Worlds?

The “Big Questions” series at church has been excellent, and the question “Can I Have the Best of Both Worlds” was incredibly thought provoking. It was heavy, it was excellent, it was true.  The answer to “can I have the best of both worlds” is no. We can not have the best of both worlds. We have to choose.

I don’t know about you, but I am in a constant wrestling match with that truth. My western mind set is way too focused on the material world. I have weight to lose because of the over-abundance of food that surrounds me; I have to buy new hangers because my closet is full; every few months I take bags of items to the Rescue Mission to donate, and still have way too much.

Twice in my adult life, I have gotten rid of almost all of my worldly possessions, the first time was when we moved overseas to be missionaries, and the second time was when we moved back. There was something so freeing about being rid of all the stuff. It really felt good. However, in both places, I managed to fill my house with stuff. Why?

And then, John’s point about sin being fun. We are drawn to it because it is enticing. Something about it appeals to us or we wouldn’t be tempted. I’m not tempted by things that don’t appeal to me, but other things can really draw me in. And, as is always the case, the end result is regret, or worse–captivity.

When I look at the “more stuff” trap, or the “sin” trap, or the “control” trap or the “safety” trap  it becomes apparent to me that in all of these situations I am trying to bless myself and/or meet my own needs. I am trying to be my own god.  And what is really true, I have no control of anything, but I can certainly live in the deception that I think I do.

Contrast that way of life with the other world–the Kingdom of Heaven world in which the One True God is King and it looks completely different.

Jesus tells us in Matthew 16  “If any of  you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me.  If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?”

And in Matthew 6 verses 19-33 Jesus tells us not to worry about what we’re going to wear, what we’re going to eat–he reminds us that the stuff of this world is temporary, it rusts, it gets destroyed–he reminds us that our Father knows what we need and He will provide as we seek His Kingdom first.

In John 16:33 Jesus tells us that in this world we will have trouble, but not to be dismayed because he has overcome the world. And he is pretty frank about the fact that we will suffer for his name’s sake.  All of this is only temporary as well, yet  it is a temporary that is worth something for eternity.

In addition, Jesus also tells us that only in him do we have life (John 14:6), only in Him is that life abundant (John 10:10) only in him do we have the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control), only in him do our lives have purpose and meaning, only in him will we be able to bear fruit that will last (John 15:16), and only in him are we freed from the smallness of living for self.

I loved the list that John ended his sermon with–it went something like this:

There is only One who is our refuge, only One who comes toward us when everyone else is moving away, only One who saves us, only One who will not condemn, only One who transforms our lives, only One who gives us life eternal, only One who fills us with purpose, only One who is trustworthy, only One who is constant, only One who is always present, only One whose name is Love. He is where true life is found.

And what’s true is that I have experienced this. I know that it is true, and that nothing in this world compares. I know that simple living and simply following Jesus is freeing and fulfilling. Yet still I wrestle. Ugh! Thank you, Paul, for letting me know in Romans 7:24 that you struggled too: “Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin…  Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.”

So, where does this bring me? I find myself again facing the challenge that Joshua laid out before the Israelites:

..Fear the Lord and serve him wholeheartedly. Put away forever the idols your ancestors worshiped… Serve the Lord alone. 15 But if you refuse to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.” (Joshua 24:14-15 NLT)

Will I serve the false, lying gods of self, of selfishness, self preservation, self protection, of stuff, of trying to control my own life, my own destiny…or will I choose total surrender to His way? I can’t have both. Either He is God, or I am god. Today, I repent of how out of balance I have become and am making the choice to choose Him, His kingdom,  and His ways again.  I feel some purging coming on….

How about you? Is this a struggle for you as well? If it is not a struggle for you, how do you maintain proper perspective and balance in this materialistic, self-sufficient society of ours?

–Luanne

I wish I didn’t share this struggle. It would be lovely to be able to say that I have great perspective and balance and that the temptation to live with one foot in each world is not a problem I can relate to. But the truth is, this is an ongoing wrestling match in my life. Luanne wrote,

“Will I serve the false, lying gods of self, of selfishness, self preservation, self protection, of stuff, of trying to control my own life, my own destiny…or will I choose total surrender to His way?”

I want to always choose surrender to His way. I know what happens when I choose otherwise. Yet, I find myself choosing myself over and over again. Why?? Because these false gods whisper lies that sound like promises. These “promises” speak to the places in me that long for fairness. For safety. For stability. The places that are afraid of change, tired of grieving and desperate for control.

These “promises” are skillfully worded to hit each of us where we are the most vulnerable, the most desperate. And, unfortunately, sometimes I buy it. I believe the hissing lies and I white-knuckle them. I hang on until, inevitably, the lies are exposed as such and I’m left disappointed, brokenhearted and, again, asking why.

John talked about one lie that targets our desire for fairness, the one that says if we follow God, if we do what He asks, if we’re good, we’ll be “healthy, wealthy and wise”. And he also identified that we all know that isn’t true. We all know someone whose story defies this lie. Friends who love Jesus-and are battling cancer. Family members who have done everything right-and find themselves in a state of financial ruin. For me, I think of my mama. She lived her life for her kids, for others, most of all for Jesus-and she died of a terrible disease in her mid-fifties.

So what do we do with all of that? John asked us these questions regarding the unfairness of life:

“Where can you run? When it’s you? When it’s someone you love? Who will be with you then? Who will be your refuge?

And as I pondered his words, these words came to mind:

“Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.”  Psalm 139:7-10

When the promises this world makes are exposed, when we find ourselves trapped in a cage built by our own hands, when we experience the unfairness and instability of our ever-changing world and we find ourselves all alone… He is there. Not to shame us for being so stupid, not to mock our lack of self-control, not to condemn us for foolishly running after idols. No. He is there to remind us that there is nowhere we can go that He won’t find us. Nowhere too dark that He won’t stoop low to meet us. As John said, Jesus is the only one who wants to be a part of our world when it’s unfair, unsafe and fading away, when our dreams and hopes are dying. He’s the one who will wait for us, walk with us, stay with us. In Hebrews 13:5, we are reminded of His promise to be with us:

Let your character [your moral essence, your inner nature] be free from the love of money [shun greed—be financially ethical], being content with what you have; for He has said, “I will never [under any circumstances] desert you [nor give you up nor leave you without support, nor will I in any degree leave you helpless], nor will I forsake or let you down or relax My hold on you [assuredly not]!” (AMP Bible)

Can we have the best of both worlds? No. We can’t serve both God and ourselves. Will life be hard? Yes. Whether we do it God’s way or our way, we are guaranteed that life will sometimes be unfair and unsafe and we will have trouble. But we have a God who says He will never, under any circumstances leave us or relax His grip on us. Even when we fail. Even when we buy the lies and find ourselves in a pit we created. Even there, in our brokenness, His hand will guide us and hold us fast. I am so grateful for His promise of “withness”. And I know that as I continue to find Him faithful and as I trust Him to lead me, my grip on the things of this world will loosen more and more each day.

Where do you run when life turns out to be unfair and unsafe? What do you cling to for stability, for control? Do the promises in the verses from Psalm 139 and Hebrews 13:5 comfort your heart? We would love to read your thoughts and questions!

–Laura

corrie ten boom